so many people are annoying me right now it isn’t even funny.
stop being fake. stop trying to fit in. be yourself. suck it up. stop being so full of pride that you can’t even apologize. stop taking me for granted and just stop. stop acting like you’re important. stop acting like you don’t need me. stop forgetting me. stop putting me on the back burner. stop being a bitch. stop being an asshole. stop inventing drama. stop ignoring who you really are. stop trying to be someone you aren’t.
just stop, please. otherwise i will find a way to make it stop.
- Tuesdays are long as hale. Today was even longer because while I was sitting in class listening to a long haired man ramble about dropping out of school, the Britney episode of Glee was on. Bitter, very bitter.
- Someone was attacked tonight on campus at school. There were about seven car loads of police there when I left class. Not cool. They’ve had a lot of off campus crime lately. Especially not cool since I’m there til 9:30 in areas that are not well lit.
- Breakfast food at 10 o’clock is the best. So is chocolate milk out of a halloween cup.
- I feel like I could sleep until twelve tomorrow.
Every night I stay up past 12, past 1, etc. Not because I'm not tired. Not because I want to tweak on these social networking sites. Because I am tired, I want to sleep. But I can't because my mind runs like crazy. It over thinks, over analyzes things that I don't want to think about. So I purposely keep myself awake & tire myself out so that when I do finally lie in bed, I fall asleep and my thoughts don't keep me up.
- I’m reading Freedom Fighters right now from DC and I actually like it. This is weird for me because (a) I don’t read many DC comics and (b) I don’t read many super hero comics. The only ‘super hero’ comics I read are the Avengers and that’s only for Thor. I just prefer other genres.
- I finished the first volume of Fables and I. love. it. I can’t wait to get the second. Badass as phuck.
- Saw Bret Michaels mostly naked on the cover of Billboard Magazine earlier. Couldn’t decide if I wanted to buy it or puke. He doesn’t look that good naked. I watched his porn tape with Pamela Anderson. What? I was curious.
- Found some gumption and finally did some of my grammar online coursework bullshit. Did two lessons then quit. I felt satisfied with it for the day.
- Now my gumption is all run out for my PR homework. Boo. Oh well. Class isn’t til 6:30 tomorrow.
- Sometimes I wonder why I was never quite good enough. Why I was never really worth bothering with to you. It makes me frown and wonder why I so often feel this way. Not really the best feeling in the world. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t want something huge. I just want small gestures to know you’re thinking about me and that you care. At the end of the day, that’s all that matters, right?
Lindsay Lohan, 24, is all over the news because she's a celebrity drug addict. While Justin Allen, 23, Brett Linley, 29, Matthew Weikert, 29, Justus Bartett, 27, Dave Santos, 21, Chase Stanley, 21, Jesse Reed, 26, Matthew Johnson, 21, Zachary Fisher, 24, Brandon King, 23, Christopher Goeke, 23, and Sheldon Tate, 27 are all Marines that gave their lives this week, no media mention. Honor THEM by reblogging.
you swarm my thoughts constantly now, worse than before, and i don’t know how i feel about it. i wondered what would happen, what would happen when you were back. it feels funny, you know? i’m not used to this, not like this. things were always so different before and things have become so muddy and murky now that it’s hard to remember what happened first. sometimes i remember, but then i forget again.
i try hard to keep it going and i don’t know why anymore. i can’t remember if you’re just a habit or if you’re there for a reason. i start to let go and i panic. i panic and i just can’t do it and that upsets me. i know it probably isn’t a good decision. i pass everything up because of you. you’re the gold and no one can top you.
sometimes i wonder when this will end, if it will end. some days i wish i had never met you, but other times i remember that that was one of the best days of my life.
Secret desires may haunt you. This is the time when you may have dreams or powerful fantasies about someone or something. Try to become aware of your real motives. You’ll then know whether or not to pursue this. You seem keen to travel and enjoy a taste of freedom. You may want to purchase a place in another country, if you haven’t already. A friend could be very stubborn. You’ll need to retain your sense of humor.